1
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,856
Greetings hack and field fans.
2
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:37,625
I hope you're in the mood
for a little fiendly competition.
3
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,127
It's that time of fear again.
4
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,967
The annual All
Crypt Die Cathalon!
5
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,030
I've been working out
like crazy to get ready.
6
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,804
This year I'm really
going for the cold.
7
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,611
Kind of like the
woman in tonight's tale.
8
00:01:56,783 --> 00:02:00,151
It's a putrid portrait of an
up-and-coming young artist
9
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:04,248
that's sure to leave a
nasty taste on your palette.
10
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:05,892
I call it...
11
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:16,198
"99 and 44/100% Pure Horror."
12
00:02:58,545 --> 00:02:59,911
Get out.
13
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,639
- What?
- Get out.
14
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,048
My husband will be home soon.
15
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:07,178
- I wasn't finished.
- Ask me if I care.
16
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,882
How can you say that?
17
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:13,717
- Well, you told me I was special.
- I lied. Go home.
18
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:15,995
Willa.
19
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,099
I love it when you beg.
20
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,229
Okay. I tell you what.
21
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,748
I'll give you a
couple of minutes
22
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:30,301
to do what you gotta do in the
bathroom, and then you're out of here.
23
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,078
And tomorrow, don't be late.
24
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:07,836
Honey, where's the antacid?
25
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:12,377
They're in the kitchen. You're
gonna OD on those things.
26
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,086
Hereditary.
27
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:21,286
Would you mind not throwing
your soiled clothes on the floor?
28
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,193
It's gonna stain the carpet.
29
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:27,496
Wonderful, Luden. You've come
to criticize me in the shower?
30
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:28,899
No. I'm sorry.
31
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,601
We'll start over.
32
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,703
- Mind if I join you?
- Yes, I do mind.
33
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,912
Greetings, shareholders,
I'm Luden Sandleton.
34
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:47,585
Now, soapmaking has come a
long way since my grandfather
35
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,623
started Derma
Smooth back in 1927.
36
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:55,153
Back then, it took two and a half
days to make a single bar of soap.
37
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,632
But, today, with a
single flick of a switch,
38
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,965
the patented Derma Smooth
Soap-o-Matic 5000 can heat,
39
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:09,099
blend, cool and package an entire
case of soap in less than eight minutes.
40
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:14,339
Also, in the old days, most companies
rendered animal parts for their products.
41
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,042
But not Derma Smooth.
42
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,582
There are over a dozen
kinds of acids in animal parts,
43
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,349
including hydrochloric acid.
44
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,616
Think about it.
45
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,504
Would you want the stuff that
digests food in your stomach
46
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,926
doing the same kind
of thing to your face?
47
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,394
That's why, for
the past 70 years,
48
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,991
Derma Smooth has been
all natural and cruelty-free.
49
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:38,765
But enough about the past.
Let's talk about the future.
50
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,069
Bravo.
51
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:49,947
They're showing it at the
shareholders' luncheon next week.
52
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,886
So, where's the future?
53
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,349
We haven't shot it
yet. We got problems.
54
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,122
I mean, sales are
at an all-time low.
55
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,818
You're the president,
Lu. Fire someone.
56
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:06,390
Yeah, well, we've been doing a lot
of work getting ready for the luncheon
57
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,159
and market research
indicates that your designs
58
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:12,229
aren't scoring the kinds
of points that they used to.
59
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:16,799
Fact.
60
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,870
This design made Derma
Smooth the number-one shampoo!
61
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,541
Well, nobody's saying
that your work isn't good.
62
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:26,075
It's just it's not
very fresh anymore.
63
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:30,522
So, this is why you're so excited
to see me doing my own stuff, huh?
64
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:33,560
Well, don't take it
personally. I mean...
65
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,920
The board of directors wants to
66
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,591
scrap all of the
existing artwork.
67
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,602
They want an entirely
new look for Derma Smooth.
68
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,629
I think it's a great idea!
69
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,274
- You do?
- Absolutely!
70
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,019
I mean, my designs have
been copied so much,
71
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,602
they are old news.
72
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,983
So when is this
shareholders' meeting?
73
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,049
Thursday.
74
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:01,912
- I'm really happy that you understand...
- Thursday. Thursday, Thursday.
75
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:05,857
That gives me just enough
time to give you your future.
76
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,557
What?
77
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:10,887
They want a fresh new
look? Let me give it to them.
78
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,695
I'll wow them,
Luden, you'll see.
79
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:16,834
Welcome back.
80
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:22,442
We are talking to the hottest artist
on the scene today, Renaldo Escuarita.
81
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,243
Renaldo, when did you
first make the transition
82
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,838
from doing graffiti to
more serious artwork?
83
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,612
Hey, I don't use the "G word,"
because that's like, vandalism, you dig?
84
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,245
I am an urban guerrilla artist.
85
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,654
It's like, the city is
my canvas, man.
86
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,557
I'm just working on
a smaller scale now.
87
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,418
Bam!
88
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,491
I call it "Welfare Cheese."
89
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,332
When is it time for me?
90
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,260
Right about now.
91
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,834
You know my next
guest from her provocative
92
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:56,365
and controversial designs for
Derma Smooth beauty products.
93
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,969
Say hi to Willa Sandleton.
94
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,447
Willa, thanks so
much for joining us.
95
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,251
So, now that Derma
Smooth beauty products
96
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,719
are no longer the
flavor of the month,
97
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,653
do you think your 15
minutes of fame are up?
98
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:12,617
No.
99
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:17,426
Actually, I am in the middle of
redesigning the entire Derma Smooth line.
100
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,966
- Really?
- Yes. Yes.
101
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,400
But what I'm really excited
about is my new work.
102
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,080
I feel like I've really
grown as an artist
103
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:27,336
and I'd like to take this opportunity
to debut my new art to the world,
104
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,739
if you don't mind.
105
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,902
- This first painting I call...
- Oops! Actually...
106
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,879
We're out of time,
Willa, I'm so sorry.
107
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:38,176
When we come back, you're going to
be meeting some very special children.
108
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:39,779
We're clear!
109
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,652
Brian, we got tape on those
retarded kids that draw with their feet?
110
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,311
They're physically
impaired, not retarded.
111
00:08:45,335 --> 00:08:45,988
Whatever.
112
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,961
Excuse me, I thought you were
gonna show my work on this show.
113
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,897
That's the reason I agreed
to come on this program.
114
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,399
Are you nuts?
115
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,163
The network won't let us
show that gory goop on the air.
116
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,865
Besides, who'd want to look
at that first thing in the morning?
117
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,601
Renaldo, thanks for coming on
the show, can't wait to see yours.
118
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,142
Right on, right on.
119
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:17,956
Hi.
120
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:19,725
Hi.
121
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,827
How was the TV show?
122
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,294
I don't wanna talk about it.
123
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,163
What are you doing home
in the middle of the day?
124
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,631
I need to talk to you about the
shareholders' luncheon tomorrow.
125
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:34,538
Oh, great, because I have just finished
with the last set of designs and...
126
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:37,577
I'm afraid we're not gonna
be able to use your stuff.
127
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:39,678
What?
128
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,409
Why not?
129
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,480
- You don't like them.
- No, no. It's not that.
130
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,951
Damn it, Luden!
131
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:52,023
I created an image for
your stupid company.
132
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,755
You know, I turned it
around! I think you owe me!
133
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,230
- Well, it's just business, Willa.
- Then treat it like a business!
134
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,322
Test the damn things!
135
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,210
I have worked round the
clock for five days straight,
136
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,203
I think you could do a
regional test, something!
137
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,635
No! I'm sorry.
138
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:08,937
But we've just closed a deal
on an up-and-coming new artist.
139
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,579
He's very hot now and
we're lucky to have him.
140
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:13,939
Who is it?
141
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,275
- His name is Renaldo Escuarita.
- What?
142
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,876
Renaldo Escuari... You know him?
143
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,355
He's a graffiti artist.
144
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:25,085
Luden, I have studied. Do
you understand me? Studied!
145
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:28,128
- My whole life for this!
- Now, Willa, calm down.
146
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,925
- How dare you do this to me?
- I'm not doing anything to you.
147
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,522
Look, it's not the
end of the world.
148
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,591
You can do your own
work full-time now.
149
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:39,298
Oh, yeah. Who's gonna buy
my paintings, Luden? You?
150
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,372
Willa.
151
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,753
- Willa, there's a silver lining here.
- Are you kidding?
152
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:47,576
Well, I'm concerned about
us, about our marriage.
153
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,015
Now, I figure between
taking the pressure off of you
154
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,280
and getting past the
board of directors meeting,
155
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,413
we'll have a chance to
spend a little time together.
156
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,481
- You know, maybe take that trip.
- Don't touch me.
157
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,790
I'll go to a marriage counselor.
I'll do whatever you want.
158
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,353
Give me my job back.
159
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,335
- Well, that's not gonna happen.
- Fine. I want out.
160
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,735
- What are you saying?
- I want a divorce, you idiot.
161
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,841
I don't care about
this relationship.
162
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,572
I never have. Sorry.
That's just the way it is.
163
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,877
And if I can't put my drawings
on your stupid soap boxes,
164
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,543
well then I'm just gonna
take your money. Half.
165
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,245
Half sounds good to me.
166
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,846
I'm entitled to it.
167
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,801
I'm sorry it's come to this.
168
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,874
- You son of a bitch!
- Well, that's good.
169
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,348
You let your anger
out. No, I get it...
170
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:59,875
No, I realize that I'm probably as
much to blame for this as you are.
171
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,218
Now, Willa, listen.
Let's start over again.
172
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:05,315
We'll erase everything.
Let's give it another chance.
173
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,757
What do you say?
174
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,825
You are such a wimp!
175
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:12,291
Now, maybe, but I'm
not gonna let you go.
176
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,137
Willa.
177
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,474
Come on. We used to
have some fire in the past.
178
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,032
Let's bring it back.
179
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,138
I'll give you fire, Luey.
180
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:30,239
Willa!
181
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:36,483
Sorry, Lu, but you
got me on a bad day.
182
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:51,336
Hey! Drop me the key!
183
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,872
What are you doing here?
184
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:56,501
What do you mean? I'm right
on time for our afternoon delight.
185
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:58,871
Come back later!
186
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,177
Oh, come on. Don't
go teasing me like this!
187
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:06,150
- I'm begging on my hands and knees!
- Go away!
188
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:26,368
I'll bark like a
dog if you want!
189
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,307
Not now, Tom! I mean it.
190
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:38,283
Forget about the key. I
think somebody's coming out.
191
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:57,602
Hey, babe, open up.
192
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,841
I know you need a strong,
hunky man like me in there!
193
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:03,672
Come on, babe. Open up.
194
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,577
Willa, come on.
195
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:10,307
Willa, open the door.
196
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,710
Open, open, open, open, open.
197
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,287
Hi.
198
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,336
Man, you've been
painting up a storm, huh?
199
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,920
Oh, yeah. Listen, I need
you to do me a favor.
200
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,558
Sure. I'll do you.
201
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:27,431
A favor, that is.
202
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:32,335
I need you to come over here and
help me get this carpet into the car.
203
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,474
God, Willa, I'm so hot for you.
204
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,401
Let's do it on the
carpet right now.
205
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,537
No, you don't! No.
206
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,742
Kinky.
207
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:46,852
Tom.
208
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:06,102
Wait, wait, wait. We'll pick
this up later, baby. Okay.
209
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:09,351
Could you go get me some aspirin?
They're in the bathroom. I got a headache.
210
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:12,345
- You got a headache, now?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
211
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,644
I'll make it up to
you later. I promise.
212
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,249
Okay.
213
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:37,799
What's this?
214
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,940
That's for later.
215
00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,433
All right.
216
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,171
Now help me get
this into the car.
217
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:49,881
Well, get your husband
to do it. I ain't your slave.
218
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:54,509
Luden is out of town
and you are my slave.
219
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,180
Okay. Okay. Okay.
220
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,990
Man, this stuff's
looking realer every day.
221
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,757
It's a mixed media
piece. It's a gift for Luden.
222
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,162
Now beat it.
223
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:08,861
Hey, wait a second.
You promised me. Willa!
224
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,804
I said, "Scram."
225
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:54,109
Gee, Lu, you were
never this lively before.
226
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,433
Acid to acid, dust to dust.
227
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,384
Long day, huh, Lu?
228
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:51,061
Hey, Lu, you don't
mind if I leave this...
229
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:52,530
There.
230
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:56,632
Or how about these... here.
231
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:04,176
Or, how about this, there.
232
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:09,241
C'mon, Lu, let's
go have some fun.
233
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,988
Now, you just sit right there
and don't move a muscle.
234
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,094
You always wanted
to shower with me, Lu.
235
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,601
Here's your chance.
236
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,301
There are over a dozen
kinds of acids in animal parts,
237
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,276
including hydrochloric acid.
238
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,247
Think about it.
239
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:51,807
Would you want the stuff that
digests food in your stomach
240
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,251
doing the same kind
of thing to your face?
241
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:30,583
Looks like Willa's changing
her school of painting.
242
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:35,117
From art gooveau to
ghost-Impressionism.
243
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:37,629
That'll get her into Ooze Who.
244
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,669
Okay, kiddies, it's
time for my big event.
245
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:46,663
Wish me luck.
246
00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:54,844
Caught it!
247
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:57,744
Ah, the kill of victory.
248
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:35,420
English -SDH